A relatively new phenomenon has arisen in the Orthodox Jewish world: divorce. While in the past it was a rare consequence of a husband beating his wife or a wife committing adultery (R”L), nowadays the frum divorce rate seems to be out of control, with young mothers (or in some cases fathers) stating that they didn’t have a connection with their spouse.

The questions are as follows: What changed? What are the results of these behaviors? What is the Torah view on this? And what is the solution?

To answer the first question in one word: acceptance.

While civilized society over the past millennia has valued the traditional family unit as one of sheer necessity, the post-industrial revolution era and feminism have led to the erosion of family values. This has reached the point where the divorce rate in the United States is nearly 50%. The frum world is not immune to these challenges. When certain organizations and askanim were allowed free rein to mix into shalom bayis issues and advocate for divorce—along with major publications and now “frum” podcasts advertising such organizations and askanim—this led to the establishment of organizations to help the children from divorced homes. This, in turn, reduced the individual burden of the custody-bearing parent and inevitably led to the acceptance of divorce we see today.

To address question number two: the results are, in one word, a disaster. To describe personal examples is beyond the scope of this article, but it is well known that court cases force men into legal servitude through child support, hard-earned assets are lost, and personal mental well-being is destroyed. The most affected are young children, as they become proxies for one side to take revenge on the other. In many cases, this leads to rebellion, substance abuse, and even suicide.

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